Testing the PizzaForno vending machine at Big Hops on Bitters

Apr 19, 2023

PizzaForno is a pizza vending machine located at Big Hops on Bitters.

Vending machines can be a life saver in a time of crisis, but can they be used to deliver our favorite nighttime hot foods? Big Hops on Bitters seeks to answer this question with its newly installed PizzaForno, an automated pizza machine that supposedly shoots out tasty pies in three minutes.

PizzaForno is a licensed brand of pizza vending machines that operates across the United States and beyond. From the outside, the machines are more like a kiosk, similar to a photo booth, minus the privacy curtain. The Big Hops PizzaForno is the first of its kind in San Antonio, brought to the bar by local Air Force Veteran Czar Taon, who plans to open two more in the city by the end of the year, according to a news release.

The touch screen on the PizzaForno vending machine.

I visited Big Hops on Wednesday, February 22, and immediately took notice of the QR code posted on signs outside the craft beer bar, which directed me to the PizzaForno app. I went inside, ordered a Geisterzug Kölsch from Independence Brewing, and began setting up my pizza profile.

Once I got to the order page, I saw four different pizzas listed: cheese, barbecue chicken, meat lovers, and classic pepperoni. I ordered two pies on the app for $10 apiece, sat down at a nearby table, and waited for the machine to kick on before realizing I had to enter my confirmation code into the machine. Once I did that, it was off to the races.

You can't really see inside the machine aside from a small window, and honestly, nothing that interesting is going on in there. It seems that the pizzas are stored inside the machine cold, and then you select whether you want it heated up or frozen to take home for later. I chose hot because I wanted to test the three-minute claim, and PizzaForno did not lie. Three minutes later, I had a 10-inch meat lovers pizza, hot and served in a white box.

Pro-tip: you can skip a lot of the app stuff and just order on the machine's touch screen. By the time I realized this, I had already been signed up for PizzaForno email alerts for life.

A meat lovers pizza from a PizzaForno vending machine.

Once my pizza cooled off, it was time to try, and if I'm being real, it didn't look half bad. I was expecting something to the effect of Totino's Party Pizza, but it was much more elevated than that. And the taste was there. The toppings were flavorful, the cheese was evenly melted, and overall, the pizza didn't taste like it had been frostbit, which was my fear going in.

Two downsides were the crust, which left a little bit to be desired in the crispiness department, and the sauce, which I wish had been a little more prevalent. But that aside, it was perfectly good pizza, similar to a Little Caesar's Hot and Ready, with better cheese and less grease. The best part of the experience was probably how well the pizza paired with my beer, as German beer goes hand in hand with cheese and bread.

All of this is to say that it is worth trying, but maybe don't go out of your way to visit Big Hops just for the pizza.

POV: You're a PizzaForno waiting for customers to use you.

For $10 and little to no hassle, I got to eat a perfectly fine pizza as I drank a cold beer in a laid back craft beer bar, and that's a pretty top notch experience in my book. Big Hops is a smart choice to place this vending machine, as pizza remains high on the list of best drunk foods ever, but I'm curious to see how it fairs in other markets. I'm also curious to see how it comes into play during last call, when bar goers are on their way out and they remember there's a magic pizza kiosk right at their fingertips.

In conclusion, it's not delivery, it's PizzaForno.